When I arrived home last night, the first thing I
did (and the only thing I could do), was sink my heavy body on the comforts of
my warm, welcoming bed.
I took my time just lying there, listening to my
breathing and actually feeling my body greedily sucking in the thick air around
me. I was panting, that much I knew; but soon after, a strange buzzing noise
started filling the little, invisible corners of my ears.
Where was it coming from? I couldn’t help but wonder. Was it from the monotonous,
incessant whir of the fan beside me? Was it from an unknowing lack of oxygen
inside my body?.
I stared at the ceiling with my mouth agape. How
very strange this feeling is, I told myself. And were the fluorescent
fixtures on my ceiling always this bright? Where are these little colored
specks of light coming from? My eyes caught a red speck and a blue speck,
before the fleeting rainbows disappeared altogether.
I started smiling like a fool, sheepish and
giggly from whatever it was that was happening to me. Small spurts of laughter
bubbled up inside me, warming my insides and heating the corners of my mouth,
before they erupted loudly enough for my audience of none to hear.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what it feels like
to be drunk— except I haven’t had a good, hard sip of alcohol for almost 3 days. Except I didn’t spend the night with a bottle of dripping beer on my
hand, but rather, with someone else’s hand clasped around mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what it feels like
to be high— except I haven’t had so much as a little whiff of weed or grass or
salad since forever. Except I didn’t spend the day sniffing on a rolled up
piece of paper, but rather, inhaling and taking in equally addicting traces of
Cool Water. Snuggled deep on the car seat covers, lining and caressing the
surface of cho’s skin.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what it feels like
to be in love— drunk, on a high, tipsy and confused. Except of course, minus
the hangover.
Loving is panting over and over again, but
knowing you’re never going to run out of air. It’s feeling dizzy and deaf with
sharpened senses. It’s laughing uncontrollably, because you have a reason to,
and because you don’t need one. It’s smiling, because an entire day with cho is
enough, and because it isn’t. It’s feeling overwhelmed, but knowing in the end,
it’s just right.
Love is a funny thing; loving, even funnier. :')
xo,
Jack
